Symptom 11: Feelings of Dread, Apprehension, and Doom…
Apparently, I went into menopause when I was 8-years-old. I remember distinctly going through that entire summer feeling dread, apprehension and doom. It seemed to revolve around this reoccurring dream I had about pyramids. Huge, looming, Egyptian pyramids. Scared the stew out of me. Until now, I had no idea why I never wanted to travel to Egypt. Duh. Menopause.
My youngest daughter is most certainly in menopause and she hasn’t even entered puberty yet, poor thing. Outer space gives her that feeling of Apprehension. Dread. Doom. She hates anything outer space. “Dear Mrs. Bigglesworth: Please excuse my youngest daughter from the field trip to the planetarium as she is suffering from the eleventh symptom of menopause.”
At tax time, my husband I think my husband entered menopause.
Dr. King’s passion for health and wellness and helping those whose doctors have given up is astounding. She does not give up, in fact, SHE LOVES pursing a challenge. She enjoys going to work each day hoping there is a new challenge waiting for her to solve. She even endearingly calls her group of patients the 10% because they are the ones that require extra attention, more time and that TLC that she has in her heart to give because of her love for her family, which is really what her patients are to her.
Whether it is treating illness, weight issues, hormone imbalances, or joint issues, no matter what you’ve tried, you haven’t tried them ALL until you’ve worked with Dr. King!
Dr. Stephanie King is an expert in Alternative Health Care, body mechanics, nutrition, weight loss, renewed health programs, bio-identical hormones and so much more. People that have failed other programs seek her out from across the country to join her 2 Weeks 2 a New YOU program. When there is a doctor next door advertising the same services, WHY do people fly from other states to see Dr. King? Here’s why:
Today if you are considering breast plastic surgery, it’s defining to know all the pros and cons related to the form of code of conduct that people want.
The happening of ocular manifestations is approximately comparable between men and women.
Estrogen is used to treat baking flushes in women that are experiencing menopause.
It occurs with equally among both men and women, and is most resolute in teenagers around 17 years of age.
In Reference to
Beauty therapy, Jane Hiscock, Frances Lovett, 2004
Pure beauty, Rebecca Chiyoko King-O’Riain, 2006
Awakening Beauty, Susan West Kurz, Tom Monte, 2006
On Beauty, Zadie Smith, 2006
Real beauty– real women, Kathleen Walas, 1992
Real Beauty, Eddy M. Zemach, 2004
Useful Links iVillage Beauty Beauty Makeup and Beauty Blog Beauty
Women Considering Breast Augmentation is filed under Beauty.
I’m reading “The Wisdom of Menopause” by Dr. Christiane Northrup, not because I’m going through menopause but because I need to learn more about what happens to our bodies (and more specifically, our skin) during that stage so I can write about it more accurately on the Striking blog and newsletter.
I was sharing with some of my friends that I was simultaneously reading books about raising teenagers and going through menopause. Then the questions came up:
“Why are you reading about menopause?”
“Are you perimenopausal?”
“Which book are you reading? Maybe I should get a copy too.”
Then the realization hit me: as a generation of women, we are unprepared for menopause. We get to see the movies about menstruation in grade school, but there’s no mandatory movie about menopause to watch in our late 30’s/early 40’s to prepare us for that next stage of life. Some of us may get some information from our mothers if we ask, but there’s no “birds and bees” type conversation like the ones we get when we’re learning about the facts of life, so it’s up to us figure out this next phase of womanhood.
We throw around words like “perimenopause” and “menopause” like we know what they mean, but really, most of us are grossly uneducated on the subject until the doctor tells us we’re right in the middle of it. Do we really know what happens? Do we care enough to research it before it happens to us or does all the book reading and information gathering start once the doctor has given us the official diagnosis?
I’ve decided to take matters into my own hands. I’ve started to ask questions of my mother and my aunt. So far, I’m not following in my mother’s footsteps: she gave birth to me at 18 and started menopause at 40. I, on the other hand, gave birth for the first time at 29 and had my third (and I think, my last) child 18 months ago at age 42. I’ve started reading about menopause and asking other women who have been through “the change” what they would recommend to read, or if they read anything at all.
What will do you to prepare?
Vikki Smith’s first foray into the dating world after 30-plus years of marriage involved a bit of chicanery on her part. The 57-year-old Austin, Texas–based marketing consultant “tricked” a colleague into meeting her for lunch after sensing some chemistry as they worked on a project. The sparks didn’t fly, but it did get her back in the dating game, which sure has changed a lot since last she played.
When she first got married, dating was more formal. “It’s just so casual now,” she says. “You can say, ‘Let’s grab a cup of coffee,’ and it’s a date.”
That’s not the only difference. Most gray divorcées—the nickname given to those who divorce after age 50—met their spouses the old-fashioned way—on a blind date, at school, on the job, or even at a singles’ party. Now websites such as Match.com and eHarmony offer singles the opportunity to meet online instead of in person.
And there is a learning curve.
“I can scoot all over the Internet for work, but online dating was a brand new experience,” Smith recalls. “I had friends who had done it, but when it first became a phenomenon, I thought it was a wonderful opportunity for every creepy person to start trolling through the masses,“ she says.
Turns out she was wrong. Single no more, Smith has been in a relationship for about a year with a man she met online. While there are no immediate wedding bells in her future, she is not ruling anything out.
“I used to dread the idea of dating again after being married so long, because it seems that every single person you meet who’s over 40 has one horror story after another,” she says. “Imagine my surprise to spend so little time online before meeting someone so decent, down-to-earth, and genuinely delightful. I didn’t have to kiss a single frog and feel lucky to have had this experience.”
While it can be scary, online dating is worth it, according to Smith. “I am happier than I have been in years,” she says.
Want to follow in Smith’s footsteps? From the first text or email to the first date and how to tell your children, these expert-approved, tried-and-true tips for seamless gray dating will get you back in the game.
Next page: Take your time; do it right
“There is no hurry, so it’s important to take your time before you enter the dating world again,” says Terri L. Orbuch, PhD, a professor of sociology at Oakland University, in Rochester, Mich., and the author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great. “Contrary to what your friends may tell you or you may think, studies show that there is no predetermined time period that you need to wait after a divorce or breakup before you can begin dating again.”
Understand what went wrong in your marriage
“If you know what went wrong or what was missing in your marriage, you can put it out there,” says Fran Cohen Praver, PhD, a clinical psychologist in Locust Valley, N.Y., and the author of Daring Wives: Insight Into Women’s Desires for Extramarital Affairs. “Were you too involved in your career?” she asks. “If that is the case and you love your career, put it out there in the next go-around.”
Learn from the past
“If your marriage was sexless, but you are now looking for someone who is sexually attuned, put it out there,” says Praver, who practices what she preaches. Praver, 67, is also recently divorced and back in the dating game.
Start spreading the news
“Let everyone know that you are looking, if you are, so that they are on the lookout for you,” says Dennis Lin, MD, an attending psychiatrist and physician-in-charge of the Psychosexual Medicine Program at Beth Israel Medical Center, in New York City, and an assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral Sciences at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine.
Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD, a therapist in New York City and the author of several books, including Make Up, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples, agrees. “Don’t be ashamed that you want to meet someone,” she says. “Ask people to fix you up. Look at ads in newspapers, magazines, and online.”
Move forward
“Think positively, and instead of dwelling on the past, try out new things,” says Dr. Lin. “Redecorate your living space if your spouse moved out, and extend your social circle by taking up hobbies or taking some university classes,” he says. “Maybe you always wanted to learn ballroom dancing. Now is the time.”
Be yourself
If you take the online dating route, make sure the picture you post on your profile is a recent one, Praver says. “Be candid and honest.”
Don’t sell yourself—or your dating pool—short
“I was pleasantly surprised to find the vast number of men in the age group I would consider dating were also interested in my age group,” says Smith. “I had expected that most 50-plus gentlemen would imagine themselves with a much younger woman with much lower mileage than myself, but I was pleased to find a lot of mature thinking in what this age group was seeking in a companion.”
Next page: Go fish
It used to be that women waited for the man to make the first move—not anymore. If somebody looks interesting online, don’t just “wink” or “flirt”—a quick but somewhat unromantic way to let him or her know you’re interested. Instead, says Praver, “Send them a few lines so that they know you are interested. You can’t wait for someone to contact you.”
That’s what Smith did when she met her current beau. “I finally made a bold move and contacted someone whose profile I’d seen online. Perhaps all service’s formats are not the same, but with Match.com you can either sit back—like a princess being pursued—and wait to be contacted, you can peruse the daily potential matches they send to you, or you can get totally proactive and go fishing in the man gallery,” she says.
Just do it
If you sense chemistry, don’t wait to make a date. “Don’t text someone for two months before meeting them,” Eaker Weil says. Praver advises: “Speak on the phone several times before you meet, too, to make sure you connect while speaking and not just via email.”
A lot about dating has changed, but some things stay the same, adds Dr. Lin. “Common sense still counts. You don’t want to meet them in a secluded private space for the first time.”
Keep it light
The first date should not be an interview, according to Eaker Weil. “The idea that you can find out everything about a person in 20 minutes is terrible advice,” she says. “You can’t measure someone in one date. We often idealize their positive [attributes] or exaggerate his or her negative [attributes] on the first date, but in my opinion, it takes at least three dates to gain real perspective on who he or she is and where they are coming from. Keep it light and try to have fun.”
Avoid the TMI—too much information—trap. We all have baggage, but “be discriminating about when and how you reveal things; too much exposure or information is risky,” says Eaker Weil. “Enjoy yourself or get to know the person before you talk about exes or widows.”
Talk about sex
Many women find that they rediscover sex after menopause, but everyone should move at her own pace.
“Sex can be scary, especially if you haven’t dated in 30 years, so don’t let yourself get rushed into something you are not comfortable with,” Eaker Weil says. “Say, ‘I like you and think you are attractive, but I need more time to get to know you,’” she suggests. Put another way: “Let’s have the appetizer now, and we will have plenty of time for dinner and dessert later.”
Orbuch adds: “You need to plan ahead and talk about sex before it occurs in a relationship. You may no longer need to worry about pregnancy, but you need to be aware and informed about sexually transmitted diseases and how to prevent them.”
Go dutch
Chivalry is not dead, but the economy is only starting to show signs of life (and divorce can be expensive). “Many older men may be retired or may have lost income in the stock market or divorce settlement. They may want to go out, but don’t have as much money as they used to,” Eaker Weil says. “This doesn’t mean they are cheap.”
Going dutch is OK, she says. “Talk about finances.”
Switch teams
It may seem like a ratings ploy on shows like ABC’s Desperate Housewives, but it does happen.
“A lot of older women are looking for love and support and don’t want to do all the work anymore, and what we are seeing is a shift where women are going after women instead of men,” Eaker Weil says. “This means trying something different because the other thing didn’t work. They may find women understand them better and are happier. Experimenting is OK.”
Have a family plan
Many gray divorcées have older children who can’t—or don’t want to—picture their parents on dates. When and how to break the news depends on the age and maturity level of the children. “Don’t tell the children until it becomes significant,” Praver advises.
That’s what Smith did. “When I realized it was a regular thing, I introduced them,” she explains.
That’s when the whole semantics issue came up. “What do you call a man you are seeing when you’re 57? My boyfriend?” asks Smith. “This sounds like I should be writing his name on my loose-leaf binder in curly letters.”
She also rejected “partner” as too unspecific, and “friend” seemed to diminish how they felt about one another. “So I’ve decided to call him my love slave,” she says. “But I’m not sharing that term with my sons!”
I’m very down and discouraged and I feel terrible and I feel terrible about feeling terrible.
I have a rotten cold. I have women’s issues. The world is gray and frozen and slushy. I have a sore in my mouth that hurts. I can’t do much at work but stay away from everyone so I don’t infect them. I’m still along at home and doing all the house and critter care.
I feel horrible about this dog. I can’t walk her, now I can’t even run up and down the stairs with her to give her exercise. She’s the sweetest thing ever and she does not complain. That makes it worse. She goes out in the back yard and barks and barks and barks. She comes in and chews herself and looks at me lovingly.
I’ve done all the litter scooping by myself. One of the cats is eating cat litter, which is totally new for him. I think he needs grass but I can’t grow it inside for him because he’ll attack it. Taking some grass seed to work would mean battling the frozen slush to get to the shed to get some out.
Both of my kids have need ferrying to medical appointments. The last one I had to do was this morning and they are done. Both kids are beyond what any mortal deserves in a child. They are wonderful and I feel like crappy crap for complaining.
Carole’s on her way home after being away and I know I won’t be any fun and no no pleasure to be with. She’s off again next week for another time away and I can do all this again. MAYBE without the cold, the slush, the period, the mouth sore. Maybe. Maybe with something worse. That is where my head is today.
I just typed out those wonderful words about how I can’t control anything but my thoughts, perceptions and responses and for the moment I want to scream BS!! I’m also slightly superstitious and think that if I don’t get a grateful grip soon, something truly awful will happen just to show me the difference. Which I already know.
So for the first time in my life, I’m considering acreage, for the dog. She deserves it. But she probably wouldn’t live long enough for me to get that together.
A lot about this day has to do with this dog. At the same, she enriches my life and she causes me pain. I cause myself pain because of the wrong-headed ways in which I think about her.
Carole left today for a few days, so I was alone with the animals. Our temperatures are getting a bit above freezing and our snow pack is finally shrinking a bit. But only a bit. Everything I still covered with snow and ice, but now dripping and slushy as well. The sun shines only once in a while. It’s still quite cold.
I realized the other morning that before this weather started in, my morning routine was to get up, get dressed, walk the dog, eat breakfast, read something recovery related or religious and go to work. For weeks now I’ve gotten up, fed the animals, maybe eaten something, maybe not, and battled the elements. The cars constantly need to be scraped and dug out. The weather forecast is constantly ominous about what our drive will be like, filled with peril. Accidents abound, roofs are collapsing from ice and snow, and everyone has had enough. My son has needed medical attention and I took my daughter last Friday to have her wisdom teeth removed.
But I avoid facing how my day has been. I have a slight cold that’s sort of on my chest. I haven’t been sick for a long time and I really think this will be mild. I fed all the animals twice. I took out the recycling, loaded, ran, and unloaded the dishwasher. I ran up and down the stairs 13 times with the dog. Slowly, because of my chest cold. I have ushered the older dog (and so both dogs) out the back door to the freezing slush many times today, so far avoiding a pee pee accident by the older dog. I tried and failed to follow a pattern to make a scarf. I cut that loose and started a simpler scarf. I put more music on my new computer, read my message board, read the blogs I read, and I’m writing here. Oh yes and I also watched the Dog Whisperer and brushed the dog. She loves that.
My day is consumed, though, by the feeling that I haven’t and never do enough for this dog. I know I haven’t come anywhere near satisfying her exercise requirements. I also really suck at discipline and training. I’m A+ for affection but that is only because she is so very mild mannered, and doesn’t take advantage.
After I fly to Hawaii and back without fear, I plan to seriously attack the problem of my attitude with this dog.
But meanwhile. The picture is of her and our 19-year-old cat. They don’t really seek each other out, but if they end up on the couch together, Xandra lets him stay there rather than biting his head off. And he enjoys a warm spot very much. She is the sweetest dog I have known and we were so incredibly lucky to find her.
She was unspayed, filthy, and had pneumonia when we found her at a very high-kill shelter. The cat came from people who ran a crazy foster cat organization, and I use that term loosely. His mother had been left, pregnant, when her people moved away. I chose him over his sister because I thought the cat I already had might take more kindly to a male cat than to a female. She didn’t, but he likewise turned out to be just the sweetest cat ever. As long as you don’t have food around. Then he’s the lion from Daniel’s den.
I have work tomorrow, and more medical appointments for my son. I have a new hair straightener I feel unmotivated to try tonight, even though I know that everything is better with straight hair. Everything. A friend in the program slipped again last night. Another told us yesterday that he has cancer. The world is frozen, and gray, and I need to update the Menopause Chronicles.
An article within the directive of migraine coverage within a crude way. Some available crude remedies
Whether speaking of migraines, tension-type headaches or other recurring chief pains, it’s safe to say that the best headache attack is the one you do not have.
It is very effective in the cases of migrainous headaches and zesty flushes in the instance of menopause.
TCM has been shown to be effective in the rehabilitation of chronic, such as migraines and osteoarthritis, and is traditionally used for a wide array of functional disorders.
Traditional acupuncture has been practised for centuries and is used to treat various ailments, from migraines to menstrual disorders.
Further Readings
Managing Migraines, Claire Houlding, 2007
Everything You Need to Know about Migraines and Other Headaches, Barbara Moe, 2000
Tell me what to eat if I have headaches and migraines, Elaine Magee, 2005
Natural Treatments for Migraine is filed under Migraines.
Dr. Stephanie King of Advanced Health Concepts Alternative Health Care Clinic in
Pasadena/San Marino, California brings you an amazing Lifestyle and Balancing Program that brings together Anti-aging, Renewed Health, Nutrition, Disease Prevention, Adrenal Assessment & Natural Horm
one Balancing all in one very unqiue package.
Read about Dr. Stephanie King to find out why she is so passionate about her patients and why she spends not minutes but hours to find out what works for your body. This is not a “cookie” cutter program or “one size” fits most, but a taylor designed program specific for your body, your health and your goals.
Dr. King has you fill out a 18 page interview that she then spends 1 hour of her personal time reviewing before you ever enter her door so she will already have an image of who you are and what the big picture is. Dr. King encourages you to include any and all medical records, lab work from all the doctors, nutritionists, homeopaths, any practitioners you’ve already worked with so she can see what’s been done and what’s working and what’s NOT. On your first day Dr. King will spend around 2 hours with you testing your body, interviewing you and designing your individual program.
What Dr. King’s office has to offer & you receive that 1st day:
Computerized Bioenergentic Testing
Saliva Testing (as indicated)
Blood & Urine Testing (as indicated)
Metabolic and Body Type Testing
Homeopathic Remedies
Bioidentical compounded hormones
Pharmaceutical Grade Nutraceuticals
Transdermal Creams
All nutrients in highly concentrated powder, capsule, cream and liquid form for maximum absorption.
What else do we offer because Dr. King believes in treating the whole body?
Zerona non-surgical, non-invasive body sculpting laser for those looking for that little extra boost
Low level lasers for scar tissue lightening and softening, burns, and pain
Blue Light Laser for Acne treatment and scar lightening
Chiropractic Health Care
Therapeutic Massage Therapy
Pregnancy Massage
Lymphatic Massage
Detoxification
Who Dr. King works with?
Any age from infant to Senior who is willing to commit to a lifestyle change and wants to improve their health and begin living life to the fullest balancing their body from the inside out through natural methods, and become a NEW YOU in as little as TWO WEEKS!
Read her amazing testimonials and Dr. King welcomes you to a FREE CONSULTATION to find out how you too become an amazing transformation and addition to our testimonial page:
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Dr. Stephanie King
http://dedicatedtohealth.com
(626)799-0557 or email the doctor personally for a direct message at skingdc@earthlink.net
That time has rolled over me again. The dreaded curse. The little red letter that comes in the mail once a month. The little red witch, the wave, etc., etc., etc…..
Ugh.
So many people tell me that “This is a blessed time of immense power. You need to harness this and use it.”
That’s crap.
I feel like a warmed-over dog pile. Mushy and nauseating. I don’t feel powerful. I’m in pain. And for about 4 more days, I’ll be in pain most of the 24 hours. Midol is a wonder drug. It is my friend during these 4 days.
You know, I’m not getting any younger… where’s menopause when you need it???
So don’t TELL me about my “moon time” or “power surges”. That’s a crock of WHOOEY! Let me curl up here in the corner with my heating pad, my Midol, and my chocolate…. I’ll see you in a few days.
I had a good cry the other night. I was so frustrated from waking up all night and being uncomfortable that I felt like screaming. I’m so sick of this. Surgery is 17 days away and I know that having THAT one isn’t going to make this uncomfortable situation any better… I’ll likely be dealing with the discomfort of the Bilateral Mastectomies and Tissue Expanders in ADDITION to the hot flashes and night sweats.
I’ve been keeping my chin up and staying strong knowing that I’m making the right choices but I am human. I’m scared and I wish that I didn’t have to deal with any of this, but I do. I’m just trying to take one day at a time. Sometimes a good cry helps, then I can move on.
On another note, I’ve been off the Remifemin (black cohosh supplement) since Friday (4 days ago) and don’t notice the symptoms to be any worse. I am missing my green tea and chamomile tea though! Once the surgery is over, I can go back to my favorite hot beverages but may not go back to the supplement if it doesn’t help anyway.
As for now, I just got word that school is canceled due to snow for tomorrow so if I’m up all night, at least I can relax and catch up on some sleep tomorrow.
Has your libido taken a holiday, been in hiding or just not where you want it to be?
You are not alone! Many women experience some type of drop in sex drive in their lives. It can be brought on by several factors. Here are just a few that you may relate too and what you can do to get back on track.
1) Not enough sleep
According to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, women are more than twice as likely as men to have trouble sleeping. And sleeplessness has a direct impact on desire.
Not getting enough shut-eye disrupts sex hormones like estrogen and progesterone. But perhaps more important, missing out on sleep can make you too irritable for sex.
23% of respondents surveyed for the National Sleep Foundation’s 2005 Sleep in America poll reported that their mate’s sleep habits drove them to sleep elsewhere.
Tips that can help…
Make your bedroom a dark, quiet, sleep-friendly haven. Banish work items, like your BlackBerry or laptop; turn off the TV and invest in a comfortable mattress. Use earplugs and a sleep mask to block out light and noise.
Check your meds to ensure they don’t contain stimulants. Also ask your doctor about a short-term prescription for sleeping pills.
If your partner is keeping you up, talk with him about ways to diminish his snoring. Some nights are just better on the couch or in the guest room.
2) Stress
Many people are so busy that they dont even realize that sex has fallen off of the calendar all together. This may also lead to more stress and the more stressed you are the less likely you are to take the time for intimacy.
And when you start looking for items to scrap from your to-do list, sex is often the first to go.
“Women can do many things at once, which works to our advantage work-wise and life-wise, but it does make things hard sexually,” says Chicago sex and relationship therapist Laura Berman, Ph.D., author of Passion Prescription (Hyperion).
“Most women find themselves putting the kids to bed, cleaning up the kitchen and making lunch for the next day, and the last thing they feel like doing is having sex,” Berman says.
Tips that can help…
Ask your partner to take over some chores. If he can take a little off your plate, you can relax. And that means you’re “better able to respond sexually,” she says.
Schedule it in. There is nothing wrong with planing a date night, even if you know its only for a sexual encounter. Just be smart and play safe.
3) Taking medication
We all know that contraceptives can lower your libido, but they are not the only drugs that can effect you. Anti-anxiety benzodiazepines, like Valium and Xanax, can also short-circuit your sex drive.
So can beta-blockers taken for high blood pressure and antihistamines, which can dry up your runny nose and vagina.
Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) antidepressants can blunt desire to such a degree that men often take them to remedy premature ejaculation, according to sex researcher Beverly Whipple, Ph.D., co-author of The Science of Orgasm (Johns Hopkins University Press).
Tips that can help…
Try a different beta-blocker or antidepressant.
If you’re feeling good on your SSRIs and your only complaint is that you wish you felt more sexual, talk with your doctor about adjusting your dosage.
Mixing a low dose of another kind of antidepressant, like Wellbutrin, with your SSRI can restore libido.
First and formost be sure and talk with your doctor about any medication or medical issues that you may have.
4) An overactive bladder
About one-third of women with overactive bladders “leak” during intercourse, says Jane Miller, M.D., associate professor of urology at the University of Washington in Seattle. Miller believes that orgasm may cause a slight blip in communication between the brain and bladder.
“The bladder always wants to go to the bathroom, but it doesn’t because there are inhibitory messages sent from the brain to the bladder saying no,” Miller says.
For some women, orgasm may override these messages and, as a result, they release a small amount of urine during sex.
Tips that can help…
Making a pit stop before sex may reduce the chances of a spill, since involuntary bladder contractions are often triggered by volume, she says.
You can also talk to your doctor about getting a prescription for medications like Detrol or Ditropan, used to treat overactive bladder.
6. Menopause.
You lose about 90% of your estrogen – the sex hormone largely responsible for arousal and lubrication – once you hit this milestone.
As levels drop, the vaginal tissue thins and dries out, which can make sex painful enough to make you want to opt out for good. For many women, the drop in estrogen alone explains a dive in libido.
But other aspects of menopause may also leave you feeling unsexy: hot flashes, weight gain, mood swings, apprehension about getting older, and the erratic, heavy menstruation that can occur before your periods stop for good.
Menopause typically occurs around age 51, but some surgeries and chemotherapy can trigger it earlier, which may put even more of a damper on desire.
A recent survey found that women with surgically induced menopause reported higher rates of lowered sex drives (26%) than those who experienced natural menopause (9%).
Tips that can help…
Conventional wisdom is “use it or lose it.” Having sex encourages blood flow to the genitals, Minkin says. Generally speaking, the more sex you have, the more you want.
That said, talk to your gynecologist about medications that make sex more comfortable. Ask about topical testosterone, which can increase desire in postmenopausal women, and estrogen-based creams or suppositories, which remedy vaginal dryness.
I want to pick this up for some home made tea to help regulate my hormones. In most cases it is mixed with other herbs to do this. I am researching Chinese herbs as well as the western traditional.
A natural doctor certificate is about 5 thousand dollars at the Canadian Academy of Alternative Medicine. I want to know if student loans here cover this.
It appears they mix it with herbs such as Nuo dao gen for night sweats, and Qing huo for hot flashes. Now with Chinese herbals, the same as western, they mix it to your specifications. I do not have the hot flashes or sweats yet. The bupleurum for the hormones and rehmannia for premature graying are two that would be used for me. The gray I have is like wow. I did not even know premature graying existed.
CHinese herbs are usually combo prescribed to what YOU NEED. I do not have sweats or hot flashes so no one should use anything they are not requiring. Also with menopause comes a dryness of the vagina, this I have not noticed to often so I am assuming this is not a problem yet. The premature graying though, wow, that hit me like a brick. I have so much gray at 38 and began graying in my twenties.
I am bookmarking some chinese herbal sites with the names of the herbs, and what they do. Now I am not going to even try to make them myself right now. The warnings on the sites are extensive to how much powder is ground to make them. The warnings are very large on the listing. I would rather buy it pre ground, and ask how much in the tea ball per herb to use for me. It might even go by personal weight too??
I am not looking at recipes, I am looking at names of herbs and the functions of the herbs. That is how you learn to be a herbalist or special natural doctor. It is not done by ripping off other peoples recipes, it is done by studying herbal encyclopedia’s which I am doing.
If you are interested in Health & Wellness education, and you live in the Phoenix AZ metropolitan area, I invite you to attend one of my Health & Wellness Workshops. Upcoming topics include:
12 Oils of Ancient Scripture – January 25 @ 7pm
The three wise men brought the Christ child three gives; two of them were essentials oils. Come find out why, and what they can do for you today!
Living Healthy in a Chemical World – February 22 @ 7pm Have you read your labels lately? There are 884 chemicals in personal care products alone. We will discuss the most common and dangerous, know as the Dirty Dozen, along with how you can Create a Healthy Medicine Cabinet for you and your family.
Top Seven Women’s Health Concerns – March 29 @ 7pm Would you like to dramatically ease PMS and menopause concerns? We will discuss how correcting these hormonal imbalances creates a cascade of other benefits that reduce the risk of such health concerns as cardiovascular disease and breast cancer, as well as chronic conditions like migraines, osteoporosis, and fibromyalgia.
Workshops are $5.00 each, however first time visitors may receive free admission. For more information view the current workshop schedule. Don’t forget to check out my Calendar of Events for future workshops.
Just about everybody’s head looks like batting practice.
I need a shower at least 8 times a day.
ALL my clothes have suddenly shrunk 2 sizes.
Yep, having my own personal summer…in the dead of winter. And the intensity of the heat seems to be increasing. I want to ride in the car with the windows down. It’s 20 degrees outside.
I’m trying to convince myself this phase of my life could have an up-side. The recent sub-zero temps really didn’t bother me. We may be saving on heating bills. Hmmmm, that’s about it for benefits. The rest is proving to just be one big, obnoxious irritation. If there’s a pot of gold at the end of this rainbow, there better not be any leprechaun guarding it. I may kill him.
Evidently menopause is not the process, it’s the end result…an actual calendar date. Perimenopause are the wonder years preceding this actual calendar date. Everything works backwards. Similar I suppose to being in the Twilight Zone. I’ll hit “menopause” as soon as I’m free of a monthly cycle for one full year. Everything prior to that is perimenopause. The prelude. The foreword. The pre-game show.
Honestly, I could probably deal with the hot flashes. They eventually pass. What I’m struggling with is the depression. I used to be considered a “steel magnolia.” No longer. I can dissolve into tears over anything. I anticipate the absolute worst scenarios in every situation. Happy times, sad times, lonely times all send me on an emotional roller coaster…without a seat belt. Outside of being around Peanut, I have to really work to feel any joy or laugh. I can cry myself to sleep over the stupidest things. I fully realize when it’s happening and am seriously working on it.
And then there’s the weight gain. Despite everything I do…exercising, eating right, better okay (if you don’t count December)…I still feel like I’m waddling through midlife. The more depressed I feel, the more I want to consume everything that even resembles chocolate. I have no motivation to move. Zip. Zilch. Nada.
Long passed around as a joke for PMS (premenstrual syndrome), the acronym could also accurately stand for Peri Menopausal Syndrome. I resemble most ALL of these remarks.
Psychotic Mood Shift
Puffy Mid-Section
People Make me Sick
Pass My Sweatpants
Perpetual Munching Spree
Pass My Shotgun
Pissy Mood Syndrome
Karate is an old martial art practiced for several hundred years on the island of Okinawa before it reaches Japan. Now Karate is practiced throughout the world in both the sporting versions only, Budo version only and Budo/sporting versions. No matter what version you are, learning is there any scientific research to show it is beneficially for you. Yes, there is and here is just a fraction of the studies conducted thus far.
In the British Journal of Sports Medicine April 2004; 38(2):143-7 a group of 40 to 60 year old was trained in Karate and they were matched with a like group who did not exercise. At the conclusion of the study the Karate group were found with 12% less body fat, superior aerobic capacity, significantly improved muscle strength, greater physical endurance and a greater sense of balance. Cardiac and respiratory health was also significantly improved in the Karate group. Regular Karate training will make you sleep better, maintain your weight, improve your resistance to fight infection, Lower your risk of cancer, heart disease and diabetes and help your brain function better (Mercola, M.D. July 19th 2009, mercola.com) Other studies have shown that those who have big bellies after the age of 40 are at a much higher risk of developing Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia in their seventies. Women who gain more than 20 pounds after menopause increase their risk of breast cancer by 20%. In addition, excess weight increases the chances of circulatory problems, like high blood pressure, as well as metabolic problems like insulin resistance, which leads to type 2 diabetes. (Obesity in the middle age and future risk of dementia: A 27 year longitudinal population based study, R.A. Whitmer, et al. BMJ 2005) Weight gain occurs just before menopause and after for woman as their hormone levels decrease and for men as they reach the age of 45 and on, they exercise less and their testosterone and human growth hormone levels drop. In addition, stress has a significant effect on body weight through the effects of cortisol, which is called the stress hormone. Not getting enough sleep and having negative stress in our lives raises our cortisol levels which has many adverse side effect on our bodies over time. (Lawrance Cheskin, M.D., Director of the John Hopkins Weight).
How about children? A study conducted on Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) showed a significant increase in percentage of homework completion, academic performance and classroom participation. In addition there was a decrease in classroom rules broken, times inappropriately leaving their seat and call outs in class. Since there are approximately 3.3 million children afflicted with ADHD, martial arts would seem to be something that every parent should consider. It may remove the need for medications or reduce the dosages needed to control the child’s behaviors. Children with epilepsy have likewise been shown to significantly improve with Karate. In a study conducted by the Department of Neurology, Massachusetts General Hospital for Children, Boston, Ma. by Conant, Morgan, Muzykewicz, Clark and Theile with children in the age group of 8 to 16 years of age participated in a karate program and they report a significant improvement in memory function and quality of life. The children reported improved intellectual self-esteem and social confidence with improvement in parental stress levels. A hospital in Orange County, California is teaching autistic children karate so they can improve their social skills. It is reported by several of the parents their children have had significant improvement in self-esteem and social confidence.
In conclusion, Karate is not just for self-defense. Actually the biggest benefit of being involved in Karate as well as any traditional (And I emphasize Traditional because many of the positive effects of traditional martial arts disappear when the traditional way of teaching is removed.) martial art is better physical health, better mental health, loss of weight, improved physical fitness and increased energy levels. The emphasis in traditional martial arts is perfection of character and finding inner peace. Improved ability in Self-defense is really a side effect of karate training or any traditional martial art such as Aikido, Kendo or Judo. Note that they all end in “do” Karate is called karate-do just as the other traditional arts. The term “do” simply means the “way”. Each practitioner will experience his or her own enlightenment from many years of hard diligent practice but our goal is the same, we are seeking to be better people and to feel a sense of inner peace.
As Master Gichin Funakoshi states in his 20 precepts that Karate-do is a lifelong practice and can be done long into old age. Karate-do is not only for the young but it is more important for the old to stay young. Sensei Roger St. Pierre says that a body in motion stays in motion and a body at rest will always stay at rest forever.
I thought that before I get too far into this experiment, I should put to paper who I actually feel I am at this point in my 52 year journey on the planet, so that by the end, I’ll be able to compare my circumstances, attitudes and experiences to see if there’s been any measurable changes. That being said, where do I begin??
The reason I started this project was because it occurred to me that I haven’t really been living… I’ve just been getting by.. and that’s not how I want to feel about my life when I come to the end… I want to feel that I grabbed the bull by the horns and squeezed every drop of living out that I possibly could… god, could I be having a midlife crisis?? Is this what men are feeling when they buy shiny sports cars and have affairs with younger women? That’s so stereotypical of me, but it happens all the time! It just dawned on me.. this isn’t a midlife crisis, it’s pre-menopause!!
My wake-up call is that I don’t want to die feeling like I wasted any of my time. A challenge I face is that I’m basically shy and kind of a loner, homebody.. so putting myself out there in new situations, where I don’t know anyone causes me to hyperventilate a little! So, I keep myself busy with 2 jobs, raising 2 teenagers and manage to eek out a little bit of time at the end of the evening where I can allow myself to live vicariously through the pages of a great book or some silly reality show where everyone is desperately vying for their 15 minutes of fame.
Does really living mean I have to have alot of money? I don’t think so, but it would be nice and I’m holding out hope that big money is still in my future! I do like to fantasize about exotic travel, grand adventure, dozens of close friends (several of whom play musical instruments), who gather frequently at my large abode overlooking the ocean to eat, laugh, play music and just enjoy the moments together. We all need a great fantasy, right? Oh, and an affair with a hot young 30 something would be fabulous as well!
I do have to say that I’ve raised 2 amazing kids who will be heading off to start lives of their own soon enough… and I’ve done it on my own, without much financial support for the last 7 years…however the turn of the economy has affected so many of us and my ex and I decided to merge households until things pick back up again (2 kids in braces will do that to you!)
I’m challenging myself to participate more, instead of always being the observer…..so, step by step I venture outside the boundaries of who I am at the moment to become the person I fantasize about… Can shy, homebody types become less shy by putting themselves out there time and time again? Maybe… so what have I got to lose? Only more time…..so here I go!
Really? Wow 18 months to 2 years to get over this? That means on my 50th birthday, I should have a new perspective on life.
Other difficulties
The grief of empty nest syndrome may be compounded by other life events happening at the same time, including:
Retirement
Redundancy
Menopause
Death of a spouse.
The “M” word. So, menopause and empty nest all at the same time. Well at least the kids won’t be around to witness their mother standing in her undies with her head resting comfortably on a bag of peas in the freezer. Wow, pity my husband. If I wasn’t emotional enough from empty nest (reread first blog entry – baaaaaad day at the grocery store) add crazy hormones to the soup and we have a recipe for disaster. So, perhaps there is a good reason he is always at the golf course these days. I guess I won’t take a nine iron to him, as that would then lead to the last of these compounding factors.
1. Damn treadmill ( last 5 lbs not budging ) 2. Running out of closets 3. Need a job or some distraction of 7.0 on the richter scale.
…sometimes like corporal punishment. We brutalize our poor little muscles mercilessly in hopes they’ll shape up as fast as possible. We stress and strain them, often times beyond their capacity, and then wonder why they seek revenge the day after or the day after that. They’re smart little buggers. They can tie you up like a pretzel on crack.
Yes, they’re sneaky little bastards.
My last trainer’s favorite phrase was, “Do twenty more”.
I’d look at him with my best ‘fuck you’ glare.
Twenty more and they’ll be picking out a pine box for me. Twenty more and I might be picking out a pine box for him.
“My fat does not want to do twenty more” I’d tell him.
He’d glance at my gut knowing this would hit home. I’d cuss him under my breath but start counting.
“One, two, three…”
Bastard!
By the twelfth curl I’d feel that little candle like flame burning sensation building itself up to bonfire status.
“Why are we using such big weights,” I’d ask while trying desperately to suck in a breath.
“They’re only two pounds,” he’d say.
“Oh.” I’d say.
The thing about trainers is that they’ve already done all the work they need to on themselves so they’re well aware of the pain they’re inflicting. Do they emote any sympathy towards you as you struggle through each exercise? Hell no!
What I hated most about my trainer was, when I’d start moaning and grunting like a pig during our weight lifting sessions, he’d take his fingers and strum the fat on the underside of my upper arm like a virtuoso harp player just to make his point.
I’d try desperately to ignore his mockery of my fat flags and his snarky little grin. The whole time I’d be thinking, with very little effort I could probably make contact with the side of his head with the ‘two-pound’ dumb bell clenched in my sweaty palm.
Oh yeah, I’d picture him slowly melting towards the ground shortly after impact completely unconscious, in which time I could pour water over my head and down the front of my shirt then sit down next to him. When he’d come to all I’d have to say is ‘wow, that was a good workout, see you next week.’ Unfortunately, I could never actually go through with it because we worked out at a public park. There would be witnesses. I had to force myself to stay in control and out of trouble.
Of course by this time he’d gotten that underarm fat moving so fast it was actually creating a nice little breeze that kept me cool.
“…eighteen, nineteen, twenty.”
At that point I’d fain exhaustion then let the weights drop from my hands hoping one of them would meet with his foot, but he was too fast. He knew me too well. He’d step back, smile, then bark out what was next.
“Squats,” he’d say.
“How many?” I ask.
“Fifteen,” he’d say.
I hate squats. I like what they do for my butt, and I like what they do for my legs, but I fucking hate doing them but not for the reason you might be thinking. The word ’squat’ and the menopausal gastrointestinal system do not go together.
Once that word left his lips all I could think about was whether or not I’d taken my Gas X that morning.
He’d tap his watch and wait for me to spread my legs, square my shoulders, then raise my arms out in front of my body hoping to keep some semblance of balance. I’d start to lower my body ever so slowly. One inch, two inches, three inches. It’s then I’d remember that I DIDN’T take that little green pill. I’d meant to–I really did. I’d popped it out of its little vacuum sealed package but then I’d set it down on the kitchen counter while I went to retrieve a bottle of water.
OH NO! I knew right away this was not going to be good.
“Go deeper,” he’d say.
I’d feel my stomach starting to gurgle. It wanted to purge itself in a big way.
“NOW,” he’d say as he put his hands on my shoulders pushing me towards the failure position.
I’d close my eyes and put all my concentration on keeping my sphincter muscle clamped tight. This is where all those kagel exercises you learned during pregnancy come in handy.
I’d go down a few more inches as requested and as always I’d feel my knees starting to shake. I could also feel one of those humongous gas bubbles traversing around in my gut like a slalom racer looking for the gate.
OMG!
I knew I could only do about two or three more of these dips before this situation reached the ‘Houston, we’ve got a problem’ stage. I knew my limit.
“Two,” he says out loud as though I’ve lost my ability to count.
I suck in my lower belly as I rise hoping somehow to push this gaseous troublemaker back up to where it started. No dice my body tells me. This puppies gonna blow pretty damn soon.
My mind would be racing by this time. Maybe it’d be one of those polite silent ones, and if there is a God, it wouldn’t be one of those Chernobyl stinker’s that are bad enough to take out an entire neighborhood.
He’d move in closer to better control the depth of the squat and all I could do was concentrate on keeping my butt cheeks together.
As you can imagine, this is nearly impossible in this position.
Then it would occur to me that this strategy would eliminate the possibility of silence.
If the gas left my butt during the tightening of the cheeks it would likely come out sounding like one of those canned air horns. I’d have to think on my feet and make some kind of decision. Let her rip and take my chances it would just blow out like a soft gentle breeze or publicly acknowledge that I had a rip-roaring case of gas.
But wait, I’d say to myself. If I let mother nature take its course and let it blow in its full glory, the sound ringing out like a proud duck quacking with a cold, this might put an end to this particular exercise. Maybe he’d see that it was not in his best interest or mine to force my body into this ridiculous position.
Oop’s!
Too late. My bad!
Half way down on the second squat my body took control, my sphincter relaxed and justice was served. It was not polite, nor was it quite. As a matter of fact a few people passing by us during this assault actually looked up in the sky searching for the flock of ducks they’d just heard.
“Jesus Christ,” he’d say looking down at his legs to make sure I hadn’t left skid marks on his tight white workout pants.
“What are you talking about?” I say pointing to the people looking up into the sky. “Didn’t you see them, the ducks?”
He’d follow their gaze searching the clear blue sky for any sign of birds.
Then it would hit him.
The air surrounding us was so toxic it rippled the same way hot summer sun does over cool asphalt. It smelled so bad the end of his nose actually curled in such a way as to close itself off from the foulness.
Distraction is the best defense so I began to squat one more time.
“NOOOOOO,” he’d manage to squeak out while trying to hold his breath. “We’re done with those.”
“Oh, okay,” I’d say. “What do you want to do now?”
“Shower,” he’d say.
“Oh, okay. I’ll see you next week.”
“No…I think I’m busy next week.”
As I stood there digesting his comment I realized that we were done–forever–so I bent over to pick up my towel and delivered a parting prize.
I guess I should be grateful he dumped me. All the money I’d been spending on getting in shape has now been diverted to purchasing the big box of Gas X from Costco. My entire family is grateful to him now I work out at home.
New Year’s Resolutions
I have just watched the movie “Julia and Julia” its about a woman, Julia Powell’s 2002 challenge to cook all of Julia Child’s recipes in one year, and to blog about it.
I have decided to blog about my New Year’s resolutions for a year and try to document the struggles to actually keep them. I do not know of too many resolutions that are actually followed through to the end of the year so here goes let’s see if I can do what the young Julia did.
My New Year’s resolution.
Starting now. Day 1
1. I am going to return to my pre-menopausal weight and stay that way until the end of the year.
2. I am going exercise, end result I want to be able to participate in spinning, and a 75 minute exercise class period with having to call 911.
3. I want to be consistent about taking my vitamins and being good to my body.
4. Not only am I going to be good to my body but I am also going to be good to my financial side of the equation. By the end of the year I want be 10,000 in the black.
4. I am going to write everyday about my struggles to do this.
Now I think in order to be successful I need to tell you where I am starting from. I have always been a thin sickly kid. Never able to gain weight….not enjoying the time that it would take to consume food. In fact, there was one time that the winter winds would not allow me to walk out of my friend’s door. I had to call my brother to walk through a storm and pull me home like a kite blowing in the wind.
I am 5 feet 9 inches and when I got pregnant with my son I was 111 pounds. At the end of my pregnancy I was huge and had gain 57 pounds. Now I stepped on the scale this afternoon and I am 172 lbs. Are you kidding me? Do the math I am heavier by 5 pounds then when I was 10 months pregnant ( as a side note they say 9 months pregnant but 40 weeks is not 9 months anyway they slice it and if you add an additional 2 and 1/2 weeks on for being late that is 42 almost 11 months….just like an elephant’s) . This menopausal madness has to end. Okay to some of you this isn’t a problem, however, Menopause is packing on weight that I have noticed is going on at the rate of 10 pounds per year. This is where it begins. So if it is meant to be its up to me.
Part of the problem is that I met and married my husband, Henry, June 14th 2008 and as a result eat more appetizers, and consume wines and other calorie ladden beverages. I met him 3 years ago. I was 140 pounds. So that is 32 pounds that I want to lose. I get close to that and fit and I am happy… Dr Oz said the average woman is in danger of get diabetes if she is over 160 pounds Yikes. Anyway, when I stepped on the scale….after the heart attack and realized that the good life had added that much weight. I decided right there and then I was cutting out wine for 2 months. Further, No bread shall pass my lips ….bread substitutes yes, but none of that delicious bread with a generous portion of butter that melts into the cracks……stop it.
Okay tonight, will be my first test. I exercised and burned off 220 calories, I am going to increase that by 10 calories every day. I had only one small portion of Sheppard’s pie. No food or snacks after 7:00 I did mention that I was menopausal right and that every time you have a minute to think that thoughts go back to food. Anyway. Join me tomorrow to see if I have broken my NEW YEARS RESOLUTION.
PR: wait…
I: wait…
L: wait…
LD: wait…
I: wait…
wait…
Rank: wait…
Traffic: wait…
Price: wait…
C: wait…
I’m very down and discouraged and I feel terrible and I feel terrible about feeling terrible.
A lot about this day has to do with this dog. At the same, she enriches my life and she causes me pain. I cause myself pain because of the wrong-headed ways in which I think about her.
Who I Am
