I’m very down and discouraged and I feel terrible and I feel terrible about feeling terrible.
I have a rotten cold. I have women’s issues. The world is gray and frozen and slushy. I have a sore in my mouth that hurts. I can’t do much at work but stay away from everyone so I don’t infect them. I’m still along at home and doing all the house and critter care.
I feel horrible about this dog. I can’t walk her, now I can’t even run up and down the stairs with her to give her exercise. She’s the sweetest thing ever and she does not complain. That makes it worse. She goes out in the back yard and barks and barks and barks. She comes in and chews herself and looks at me lovingly.
I’ve done all the litter scooping by myself. One of the cats is eating cat litter, which is totally new for him. I think he needs grass but I can’t grow it inside for him because he’ll attack it. Taking some grass seed to work would mean battling the frozen slush to get to the shed to get some out.
Both of my kids have need ferrying to medical appointments. The last one I had to do was this morning and they are done. Both kids are beyond what any mortal deserves in a child. They are wonderful and I feel like crappy crap for complaining.
Carole’s on her way home after being away and I know I won’t be any fun and no no pleasure to be with. She’s off again next week for another time away and I can do all this again. MAYBE without the cold, the slush, the period, the mouth sore. Maybe. Maybe with something worse. That is where my head is today.
I just typed out those wonderful words about how I can’t control anything but my thoughts, perceptions and responses and for the moment I want to scream BS!! I’m also slightly superstitious and think that if I don’t get a grateful grip soon, something truly awful will happen just to show me the difference. Which I already know.
So for the first time in my life, I’m considering acreage, for the dog. She deserves it. But she probably wouldn’t live long enough for me to get that together.
A lot about this day has to do with this dog. At the same, she enriches my life and she causes me pain. I cause myself pain because of the wrong-headed ways in which I think about her.
Carole left today for a few days, so I was alone with the animals. Our temperatures are getting a bit above freezing and our snow pack is finally shrinking a bit. But only a bit. Everything I still covered with snow and ice, but now dripping and slushy as well. The sun shines only once in a while. It’s still quite cold.
I realized the other morning that before this weather started in, my morning routine was to get up, get dressed, walk the dog, eat breakfast, read something recovery related or religious and go to work. For weeks now I’ve gotten up, fed the animals, maybe eaten something, maybe not, and battled the elements. The cars constantly need to be scraped and dug out. The weather forecast is constantly ominous about what our drive will be like, filled with peril. Accidents abound, roofs are collapsing from ice and snow, and everyone has had enough. My son has needed medical attention and I took my daughter last Friday to have her wisdom teeth removed.
But I avoid facing how my day has been. I have a slight cold that’s sort of on my chest. I haven’t been sick for a long time and I really think this will be mild. I fed all the animals twice. I took out the recycling, loaded, ran, and unloaded the dishwasher. I ran up and down the stairs 13 times with the dog. Slowly, because of my chest cold. I have ushered the older dog (and so both dogs) out the back door to the freezing slush many times today, so far avoiding a pee pee accident by the older dog. I tried and failed to follow a pattern to make a scarf. I cut that loose and started a simpler scarf. I put more music on my new computer, read my message board, read the blogs I read, and I’m writing here. Oh yes and I also watched the Dog Whisperer and brushed the dog. She loves that.
My day is consumed, though, by the feeling that I haven’t and never do enough for this dog. I know I haven’t come anywhere near satisfying her exercise requirements. I also really suck at discipline and training. I’m A+ for affection but that is only because she is so very mild mannered, and doesn’t take advantage.
After I fly to Hawaii and back without fear, I plan to seriously attack the problem of my attitude with this dog.
But meanwhile. The picture is of her and our 19-year-old cat. They don’t really seek each other out, but if they end up on the couch together, Xandra lets him stay there rather than biting his head off. And he enjoys a warm spot very much. She is the sweetest dog I have known and we were so incredibly lucky to find her.
She was unspayed, filthy, and had pneumonia when we found her at a very high-kill shelter. The cat came from people who ran a crazy foster cat organization, and I use that term loosely. His mother had been left, pregnant, when her people moved away. I chose him over his sister because I thought the cat I already had might take more kindly to a male cat than to a female. She didn’t, but he likewise turned out to be just the sweetest cat ever. As long as you don’t have food around. Then he’s the lion from Daniel’s den.
I have work tomorrow, and more medical appointments for my son. I have a new hair straightener I feel unmotivated to try tonight, even though I know that everything is better with straight hair. Everything. A friend in the program slipped again last night. Another told us yesterday that he has cancer. The world is frozen, and gray, and I need to update the Menopause Chronicles.
An article within the directive of migraine coverage within a crude way. Some available crude remedies
Whether speaking of migraines, tension-type headaches or other recurring chief pains, it’s safe to say that the best headache attack is the one you do not have.
It is very effective in the cases of migrainous headaches and zesty flushes in the instance of menopause.
TCM has been shown to be effective in the rehabilitation of chronic, such as migraines and osteoarthritis, and is traditionally used for a wide array of functional disorders.
Traditional acupuncture has been practised for centuries and is used to treat various ailments, from migraines to menstrual disorders.
Further Readings
Managing Migraines, Claire Houlding, 2007
Everything You Need to Know about Migraines and Other Headaches, Barbara Moe, 2000
Tell me what to eat if I have headaches and migraines, Elaine Magee, 2005
Natural Treatments for Migraine is filed under Migraines.
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That time has rolled over me again. The dreaded curse. The little red letter that comes in the mail once a month. The little red witch, the wave, etc., etc., etc…..
Ugh.
So many people tell me that “This is a blessed time of immense power. You need to harness this and use it.”
That’s crap.
I feel like a warmed-over dog pile. Mushy and nauseating. I don’t feel powerful. I’m in pain. And for about 4 more days, I’ll be in pain most of the 24 hours. Midol is a wonder drug. It is my friend during these 4 days.
You know, I’m not getting any younger… where’s menopause when you need it???
So don’t TELL me about my “moon time” or “power surges”. That’s a crock of WHOOEY! Let me curl up here in the corner with my heating pad, my Midol, and my chocolate…. I’ll see you in a few days.
I had a good cry the other night. I was so frustrated from waking up all night and being uncomfortable that I felt like screaming. I’m so sick of this. Surgery is 17 days away and I know that having THAT one isn’t going to make this uncomfortable situation any better… I’ll likely be dealing with the discomfort of the Bilateral Mastectomies and Tissue Expanders in ADDITION to the hot flashes and night sweats.
I’ve been keeping my chin up and staying strong knowing that I’m making the right choices but I am human. I’m scared and I wish that I didn’t have to deal with any of this, but I do. I’m just trying to take one day at a time. Sometimes a good cry helps, then I can move on.
On another note, I’ve been off the Remifemin (black cohosh supplement) since Friday (4 days ago) and don’t notice the symptoms to be any worse. I am missing my green tea and chamomile tea though! Once the surgery is over, I can go back to my favorite hot beverages but may not go back to the supplement if it doesn’t help anyway.
As for now, I just got word that school is canceled due to snow for tomorrow so if I’m up all night, at least I can relax and catch up on some sleep tomorrow.
Has your libido taken a holiday, been in hiding or just not where you want it to be?
You are not alone! Many women experience some type of drop in sex drive in their lives. It can be brought on by several factors. Here are just a few that you may relate too and what you can do to get back on track.
1) Not enough sleep
According to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, women are more than twice as likely as men to have trouble sleeping. And sleeplessness has a direct impact on desire.
Not getting enough shut-eye disrupts sex hormones like estrogen and progesterone. But perhaps more important, missing out on sleep can make you too irritable for sex.
23% of respondents surveyed for the National Sleep Foundation’s 2005 Sleep in America poll reported that their mate’s sleep habits drove them to sleep elsewhere.
Tips that can help…
Make your bedroom a dark, quiet, sleep-friendly haven. Banish work items, like your BlackBerry or laptop; turn off the TV and invest in a comfortable mattress. Use earplugs and a sleep mask to block out light and noise.
Check your meds to ensure they don’t contain stimulants. Also ask your doctor about a short-term prescription for sleeping pills.
If your partner is keeping you up, talk with him about ways to diminish his snoring. Some nights are just better on the couch or in the guest room.
2) Stress
Many people are so busy that they dont even realize that sex has fallen off of the calendar all together. This may also lead to more stress and the more stressed you are the less likely you are to take the time for intimacy.
And when you start looking for items to scrap from your to-do list, sex is often the first to go.
“Women can do many things at once, which works to our advantage work-wise and life-wise, but it does make things hard sexually,” says Chicago sex and relationship therapist Laura Berman, Ph.D., author of Passion Prescription (Hyperion).
“Most women find themselves putting the kids to bed, cleaning up the kitchen and making lunch for the next day, and the last thing they feel like doing is having sex,” Berman says.
Tips that can help…
Ask your partner to take over some chores. If he can take a little off your plate, you can relax. And that means you’re “better able to respond sexually,” she says.
Schedule it in. There is nothing wrong with planing a date night, even if you know its only for a sexual encounter. Just be smart and play safe.
3) Taking medication
We all know that contraceptives can lower your libido, but they are not the only drugs that can effect you. Anti-anxiety benzodiazepines, like Valium and Xanax, can also short-circuit your sex drive.
So can beta-blockers taken for high blood pressure and antihistamines, which can dry up your runny nose and vagina.
Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) antidepressants can blunt desire to such a degree that men often take them to remedy premature ejaculation, according to sex researcher Beverly Whipple, Ph.D., co-author of The Science of Orgasm (Johns Hopkins University Press).
Tips that can help…
Try a different beta-blocker or antidepressant.
If you’re feeling good on your SSRIs and your only complaint is that you wish you felt more sexual, talk with your doctor about adjusting your dosage.
Mixing a low dose of another kind of antidepressant, like Wellbutrin, with your SSRI can restore libido.
First and formost be sure and talk with your doctor about any medication or medical issues that you may have.
4) An overactive bladder
About one-third of women with overactive bladders “leak” during intercourse, says Jane Miller, M.D., associate professor of urology at the University of Washington in Seattle. Miller believes that orgasm may cause a slight blip in communication between the brain and bladder.
“The bladder always wants to go to the bathroom, but it doesn’t because there are inhibitory messages sent from the brain to the bladder saying no,” Miller says.
For some women, orgasm may override these messages and, as a result, they release a small amount of urine during sex.
Tips that can help…
Making a pit stop before sex may reduce the chances of a spill, since involuntary bladder contractions are often triggered by volume, she says.
You can also talk to your doctor about getting a prescription for medications like Detrol or Ditropan, used to treat overactive bladder.
6. Menopause.
You lose about 90% of your estrogen – the sex hormone largely responsible for arousal and lubrication – once you hit this milestone.
As levels drop, the vaginal tissue thins and dries out, which can make sex painful enough to make you want to opt out for good. For many women, the drop in estrogen alone explains a dive in libido.
But other aspects of menopause may also leave you feeling unsexy: hot flashes, weight gain, mood swings, apprehension about getting older, and the erratic, heavy menstruation that can occur before your periods stop for good.
Menopause typically occurs around age 51, but some surgeries and chemotherapy can trigger it earlier, which may put even more of a damper on desire.
A recent survey found that women with surgically induced menopause reported higher rates of lowered sex drives (26%) than those who experienced natural menopause (9%).
Tips that can help…
Conventional wisdom is “use it or lose it.” Having sex encourages blood flow to the genitals, Minkin says. Generally speaking, the more sex you have, the more you want.
That said, talk to your gynecologist about medications that make sex more comfortable. Ask about topical testosterone, which can increase desire in postmenopausal women, and estrogen-based creams or suppositories, which remedy vaginal dryness.
I want to pick this up for some home made tea to help regulate my hormones. In most cases it is mixed with other herbs to do this. I am researching Chinese herbs as well as the western traditional.
A natural doctor certificate is about 5 thousand dollars at the Canadian Academy of Alternative Medicine. I want to know if student loans here cover this.
It appears they mix it with herbs such as Nuo dao gen for night sweats, and Qing huo for hot flashes. Now with Chinese herbals, the same as western, they mix it to your specifications. I do not have the hot flashes or sweats yet. The bupleurum for the hormones and rehmannia for premature graying are two that would be used for me. The gray I have is like wow. I did not even know premature graying existed.
CHinese herbs are usually combo prescribed to what YOU NEED. I do not have sweats or hot flashes so no one should use anything they are not requiring. Also with menopause comes a dryness of the vagina, this I have not noticed to often so I am assuming this is not a problem yet. The premature graying though, wow, that hit me like a brick. I have so much gray at 38 and began graying in my twenties.
I am bookmarking some chinese herbal sites with the names of the herbs, and what they do. Now I am not going to even try to make them myself right now. The warnings on the sites are extensive to how much powder is ground to make them. The warnings are very large on the listing. I would rather buy it pre ground, and ask how much in the tea ball per herb to use for me. It might even go by personal weight too??
I am not looking at recipes, I am looking at names of herbs and the functions of the herbs. That is how you learn to be a herbalist or special natural doctor. It is not done by ripping off other peoples recipes, it is done by studying herbal encyclopedia’s which I am doing.
I’m very down and discouraged and I feel terrible and I feel terrible about feeling terrible.
A lot about this day has to do with this dog. At the same, she enriches my life and she causes me pain. I cause myself pain because of the wrong-headed ways in which I think about her.