Just about everybody’s head looks like batting practice.
I need a shower at least 8 times a day.
ALL my clothes have suddenly shrunk 2 sizes.
Yep, having my own personal summer…in the dead of winter. And the intensity of the heat seems to be increasing. I want to ride in the car with the windows down. It’s 20 degrees outside.
I’m trying to convince myself this phase of my life could have an up-side. The recent sub-zero temps really didn’t bother me. We may be saving on heating bills. Hmmmm, that’s about it for benefits. The rest is proving to just be one big, obnoxious irritation. If there’s a pot of gold at the end of this rainbow, there better not be any leprechaun guarding it. I may kill him.
Evidently menopause is not the process, it’s the end result…an actual calendar date. Perimenopause are the wonder years preceding this actual calendar date. Everything works backwards. Similar I suppose to being in the Twilight Zone. I’ll hit “menopause” as soon as I’m free of a monthly cycle for one full year. Everything prior to that is perimenopause. The prelude. The foreword. The pre-game show.
Honestly, I could probably deal with the hot flashes. They eventually pass. What I’m struggling with is the depression. I used to be considered a “steel magnolia.” No longer. I can dissolve into tears over anything. I anticipate the absolute worst scenarios in every situation. Happy times, sad times, lonely times all send me on an emotional roller coaster…without a seat belt. Outside of being around Peanut, I have to really work to feel any joy or laugh. I can cry myself to sleep over the stupidest things. I fully realize when it’s happening and am seriously working on it.
And then there’s the weight gain. Despite everything I do…exercising, eating right, better okay (if you don’t count December)…I still feel like I’m waddling through midlife. The more depressed I feel, the more I want to consume everything that even resembles chocolate. I have no motivation to move. Zip. Zilch. Nada.
Long passed around as a joke for PMS (premenstrual syndrome), the acronym could also accurately stand for Peri Menopausal Syndrome. I resemble most ALL of these remarks.
Psychotic Mood Shift
Puffy Mid-Section
People Make me Sick
Pass My Sweatpants
Perpetual Munching Spree
Pass My Shotgun
Pissy Mood Syndrome
and finally,
Potential Murder Suspect
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